Monday Musings

There are a lot of things about being a stepmom that can drive you crazy - and I blog about most of those on here. Then there are those times that your heart is touched in a way that no traditional family will ever know. Most of those moments for me have come through watching the stepkids interact with their youngest sister, my daughter, affectionately known as The Chick.

My SS16 (the only stepson still living at home) is tall, gangly, macho guy. He's rough with his younger sisters, constantly picking on them and talking trash. He's somewhere between Earl from My Name Is Earl and Puck from Glee. However, as soon as he walks into the room with his youngest sister, the Chick? He melts. He lights up. Every cliche you can think of for a tough guy falling into puffy cloud of softness comes to mind. Those are the moments that make me forget how I wanted to strangle him two hours ago for him nearly strangling his other two sisters. Instead, I see what a protector he is to his baby sister. I know that I will never have to worry about anyone hurting her as long as he is around. He will take on anyone that hurts her, me and his father included. And I am all right with that.

My SD15 is the prima donna of the house, always concerned about her nail polish, if her hair is straightened enough or if she's wearing the latest style. She's like Sharpay Evans in High School Musical, or Quinn Fabray from Glee on a bad day - at least the Quinn from the first few shows. When Chick is in the room? Every ounce of SD15's focus is latched firmly on her baby sister. It's hard to believe that is the same child that can suffer from a personality disorder and create such hell on some days. Chick gives SD15 unconditional love, and I guess that is what SD15 needs most right now. While her father and I can give that too (and do), we must balance it with that less desirable thing called discipline. In the eyes of a teenager, that is in direct contradiction to "unconditional love". I know that with SD15, Chick will have another person to watch over her and know the value of complete unconditional love.

My SD12 is the sprite around our house - peppy, full of energy, petite and full of fun. I don't even know a character to compare her too, except maybe Tinkerbell from the recent movie. She is the playmate to our little Chick. She gets bored easily due to her attention-deficit and hyperactivity. She often doesn't play her own activities for too long, without jumping to something new. With her baby sister? She can play for hours - making treasure hunts, preparing and modeling fashion shows, and board games ad infinitum. With SD12, Chick will know play and fun and the value of undivided attention. While I do my best and I often lament I am not giving my little Chick enough undivided attention, I know that she is getting it from her sister. And right now, that's good enough for me.

At the end of the day, it's these little reminders that mean so much as a stepmother. I still believe that our little Chick was sent her as a healing force. When I see her interact with her older siblings, I am reminded of that each and every day. And that's not a bad thing at all.